“All writers will envy other writers, other writing. No one who reads is immune. To write despite it I must implicate myself, to confess to myself, silently or on the page, that I am envious. The result of this admission is humility. And a humble person, faced with the superior product of another, does not try to match it or best it out of spite. A humble person, and only a humble person, is capable of praise, of allowing space in the world for the great work of others, and of working alongside it, trying to match it as an act of honor.”
Could be what’s been discussed lately about that scene, that it’s mainly viewed and told from Ben’s POV. And Ben in that scene is triggered and scared and “uncomfortable” would be an understatement. It’s not meant to be a typical climactic villainous breakdown, where they’re in full ham mode, practically begging the audience to giggle at and revel in their upcoming defeat by the hero(es). Hades near the end of Disney’s Hercules comes to mind, lol. Because Ben isn’t that typical villain. And with him nominally being “the villain” but also a main protagonist whose POV is integral, it can cause a cognitive dissonance in some viewers.
Really what’s going on in that scene is equivalent to–but on a fantastical, operatic scale–if two estranged relatives who had a serious falling-out and subsequent long-time beef with each other both showed up to some family event, one with the explicit purpose of confronting the other, and everyone is just looking on like, Uuuuuhhh what’s gonna happen here? We’re not gonna have to end up calling the cops, are we? 😬 So yeah, that’s definitely tense and uncomfortable. Especially since we aren’t “family”, we’re looking in on this highly intense and intimate stand-off from outside, so it can feel almost voyeuristic. Hence that “I should be looking away” feeling.
Personally though, I don’t feel any of those things, I absolutely love the Crait “duel”, it’s now one of my top favorite scenes in Star Wars ever. Probably because I eat Skywalker family drama and angst up with a spoon. Also because it’s a parallel/inverted parallel to Obi-Wan vs Anakin in Revenge of the Sith (which I went on at length about here). Also because it’s incredibly layered and achingly beautiful in that it’s a big ol’ visual, cinematic metaphor for Ben’s oncoming healing and redemption. And Luke capping the whole thing off with, not goodbye, but basically, I’ll see you later. And calling him “kid” on top of it. Adorable. That outro always makes me smile. 🙂 In fact, that’s now my all-time favorite Luke moment.
Ben’s meltdown in the shuttle is executed to ring extremely uncomfortable, methinks, precisely because it’s a private moment. It’s a moment of vulnerability and stress when a person needs space and emotional safety – and there are too many eyes up close. It’s a moment that needs not take away from a person’s dignity in the eyes of his subordinates, yet we know it probably will. I kinda stan the shuttle personnel, who are unphased and pretty chill. Hux is the one drawing attention to the fact that Ben is falling apart, however, in part, I think, because Hux tools is uncomfortable and wants it to STOP. When Ben steps down on Crait it seems he’s past self-consciousness, he doesn’t care who’s watching anymore – so he stomps and screams, and runs and all but spits in Luke’s face.
The entirety of Kylo Ren’s existence makes me feel like I ought to look away—except possibly when he’s in his mask. I think this is down to Adam’s acting ability, as every bit of Kylo’s body language and tone SCREAMS genuine and extreme psychological distress. You can feel that this character is character is right on the edge of losing his shit entirely and just collapsing in a screaming heap on the ground, unresponsive, nonfunctional.
The scene where confronts Rey and Finn after killing Han in TFA is the same. I DO look away, I cringe when he smacks his hand into the wound on his side—it’s such a visceral gesture, it’s the sort of thing I’ve seen people do when they’re incoherent with emotional pain. Reaching for physical pain as a kind of grounding. Hitting themselves, pulling their hair—it’s the same kind of thing, and it hurts to watch, whether it’s in real life or a movie.
For me, watching Kylo Ren at Crait reminds me of the times when I’ve been so hurt and angry that I couldn’t think, couldn’t calm myself, couldn’t do anything but attempt to somehow give voice a pain so massive that it defies expression. Or, worse, when I’ve seen someone else is such a state—which is terrifying, because they’re so unpredictable and so given to lashing out.
It’s just unpleasant to watch someone hurt that much, regardless of whether you like them, and regardless of whether they’re real.
“Don’t take me for an idiot tourist, I know these go for much lower, they are grown locally.”
–
The medical droid’s diagnostic was simple: Hux would never get better if he doesn’t get his stress levels and crippling anxiety down.
He was advised to take a prolonged shore leave in a familiar place, get off his medication and enjoy some peace and quiet, concentrate on himself and the needs of his mind and body.
How can one ever get their stress levels down with Kylo Ren fretting over them all day long as if they were made of glass Hux didn’t know, but he still allowed the Supreme Leader to “escort” him to Arkanis for 10 days of vacation.
I’ve been talking with a few fandom
people lately about comments they’ve received on their fic. One writer felt so
badly about the feedback they were ready to delete their AO3 account.
Because of fucking comments.
“I love this but here’s how you’ve failed me…” comments.
“I love this but there wasn’t
enough sex,” comments.
“I love this but here’s how
the plot went all wrong,” comments.
“I love this except you didn’t write me the perfect thing I
wanted and you were meant to know, so I’m going to shit in your kitchen,”
comments.
How god damn dare.
How dare anyone come into your home and stink the place up with their
cruelties.
No one has the right to say one
peeping word to you about things you love if what they say makes you sad,
ashamed, or hopeless.
No one ever ever ever has the right to take away your joy
with their pissy “honesty.”
The world sucks. There’s cancer in
it, guns, depression, difficult choices to make about money, religion, family,
jobs.
Fan fiction is many things and one
of those things is an oasis from pain. A place to create your own happiness,
find community. No one has the right to damage that for you.
No one.
No one.
One of the writers I’ve been
talking with said they wanted to stop writing after some of the negative
comments they got. This writer never asked for critique. Very few fan fic
writers do. Even when they do we
don’t “help” them when our critique hurts them. At no time is our
goal ever, ever to cause someone to
question their joy.
If you think critiquing means
telling someone what “they did wrong,” you are wrong. You are wrong. You.
When we praise what a writer does well not only do they improve just as much, they write more. If we
really want to “help a writer get better” that’s how we do it.
That’s it. That’s the secret.
If you’re one of the writers who
get or got crappy comments know this:
Any critique that makes you want to
stop writing is shit critique.
So fuck
that noise. Fuck it right in the fucking ear.
Delete negative
comments. Delete them. You wouldn’t leave a stranger’s shit on your kitchen
floor, well your AO3 or Tumblr is your online home. Keep it as tidy as you want it to be. Delete any words that
give you an empty-in-the-belly feel about your writing because those words are wrong. Unfollow anyone who’s “just
being honest.”
If someone
else’s words stop yours, those words are wrong. Ignore them. Delete them. Laugh
at them. When commenters say cruel things, they want their words to stop you
from doing what you’re doing. Don’t.
Keep
writing.
Keep.
Writing.
Do it for us, because we want your
words, we want your joy, we—and the world—sorely needs that joy.
Friendly reminder that fan-made content (fanart, fanfic, fanvids, etc) are:
extremely time consuming. Remember someone actually took time out of their life to create that, time they could’ve used to, idk, sleep, for example
entertainment you’re consuming for free. I can’t stress this enough: you’re enjoying someone else’s craft for free. You paid exactly zero money to look at/read/watch it.
S H A R E D with you, not made for you. This is the most important point: someone created that, put it online and you found it. No one forced you to consume that fanwork, you C H O S E to do it.
Whenever you feel like leaving a mean comment, anonymous hate or make a ~clever post about how ‘lol look at all of these overused tropes every fic writer crams into their fics’ remember you’re being a dick to someone who shared their work with you. You’re not being funny, you’re not being edgy, you’re not being brave for calling something out – you’re being a dick.
Maybe it’s dangerous to worship our heroes to the point of
idolatry, to convince ourselves that they can never do wrong, never make
mistakes, and never let their hubris create monsters that threaten a
new generation.
(…) The future has been yanked from the hands of past masters and the universe will be reshaped by Kylo Ren and Rey, who are both fighting for the same thing from opposite directions: the chance to build a future beyond the command of a generation that failed.
(…) It feels like a proper Star Wars movie by refusing to feel like a Star Wars movie.
Kudos to fanfiction writers for writing about all the trauma and emotional and mental turmoil that the original content creators dont acknowledge when putting characters through hell
This has evolved to one of fanfiction’s major assets in my eyes. To every author that cares enough about the characters in their stories to examine trauma, but also the slow, tedious processes of healing and recovery: your stories mean so much to me and other persons with mental health problems. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Jules' Kylux Stuff 