Apparently Adam Driver is going to appear as Kylo Ren in a snickers commercial. I could not be more excited. Imagine: Kylo Ren destroying a console when a stormtrooper hands him a snickers. He smashes the whole thing into his mask and magically, when he turns around he’s in Jedi robes, maskless, with his L’Oréal curls. “Hungry?” asks Ben Solo. “Why wait?”
If this isn’t the commercial I’m going to be wildly disappointed.
“Would you shut up about the clones?” Hux says, as they walk between the rank and file. “I told you, they’re a bad idea.”
“You’re just worried your clone would be hotter,” Kylo replies, his stride matching his. Everyone is pointedly looking away.
“Oh, really? You’d clone me?”
“You could have one Work Hux and one Sex Hux then. And you could do a rota about who got to be Sex Hux. And then you could have a third Hux who didn’t know there were two Sex Huxes and he could do the work and I could have you both.”
“Don’t be preposterous.”
“It would just be like masturbating.”
“It would not!”
“Fine. How about just one Work Hux? I could keep fighting with him in public, and he’d think we hated one another.”
“You’d develop feelings for him. And probably leave me for him.”
“What? No!”
“Why not? You said it would be masturbation.”
“…what if every time one of you falls in love with me, he becomes another Sex Hux, and we start over?”
“REN WE ARE NOT STARTING A SEX HAREM OF ME JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW THE BENEFITS OF DELAYED GRATIFICATION.”
Hux pauses. He did just yell that in front of everyone.
“…what about I clone Mitaka, and he does all the work?”
Hux pinches his nose. “Make everyone think we were talking about kyber crystals again. I’m making the caf.”
“You know, they’re going to get suspicious about kyber crystals.”
“Well make something more inventive up. Someone made me sleep deprived with their insatiable sex drive. So I’m not at my best. And if you say clone again today you’re going back into solitary to jerk yourself off.”
Jules' Kylux Stuff 